new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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