Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
God I need to hump something, right now.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
