dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
