I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
