I think my vagina is haunted
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
