Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
