i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
it's like iHOP with fire
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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