with your own penis?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
