Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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