I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
