Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize