Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
