Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
