youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
