I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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