You're so nebulous sometimes
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
