wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
