It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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