we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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