so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm at about main and main street
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
