I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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