you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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