Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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