): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Randomize
