im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I understand Curling. That high.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
