i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
