It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
