Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
