The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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