i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
