In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
