you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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