She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Holy shit dude........stairs
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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