And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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