i think my tv is drunk
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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