Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
