If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize