my sisters under your porch take her home
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize