how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
