My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
