SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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