some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
