I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
