Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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