You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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