the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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