I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just high enough for therapy.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
