Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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