'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Little spoons don't ask big questions
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
