if you like me you must not know who I am
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
