Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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