Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
