remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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