I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
