I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
