and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
