We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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