the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
