I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
