Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
im holly from the hills drunk
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
