just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
