some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
