And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just found a bag of teeth...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
