I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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