This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
