my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize