your thong is hanging out like whoa
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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