You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
