My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Say something about gay babies.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
