Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
