I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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