Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
