I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
