u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
