if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
