sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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